Grief is an unrelenting presence, much like a dripping faucet that never seems to stop. It lingers, refusing to leave your side, and no matter how much you wish to shut it out, it persists. The notion that “time heals all wounds” often feels like a misleading cliché. In reality, as time passes, the void left by your loss seems to expand, creating an even deeper chasm within.
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Consider the story of a woman who has lost her soul mate. In the context of Pakistani society, her emotional turmoil is compounded by financial vulnerability. She is rarely afforded the luxury of addressing her emotional trauma, for if her late husband was wealthy, opportunistic individuals hover around like vultures, seeking to exploit her for their gain. On the other hand, if her husband was an ordinary working man whose income ceased upon his passing, she becomes a burden, as do her children, to the extended family. Suddenly, a group of relatives assumes control over her life, subjecting her to a state of misery. Her children, now surrounded by unfamiliar faces, now find themselves thrust into their arms, casting themselves in the role of perfect mentors.
It is distressing to observe how often she is advised to “find happiness in her children’s lives” as if she were merely an extension of her husband or her offspring. What about her own identity and aspirations? Should she be reduced to a mere appendage of her family, defined solely by her relationships with her husband or children?
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Or if, the woman has grown up children & all of a sudden, she is no longer the mistress of her house with the loss of the bread-earner but relegated to the level of a dowager queen. Which basically means being kicked upstairs without any authority.
In our society, there are times when closure remains elusive. For children who lose both parents in a tragic accident, for a young unmarried girl left at the mercy of her elder brother and his family, or for a bright young boy with dreams of furthering his education, the sudden loss often translates to financial hardship. Each day, these individuals are reminded of how different their lives could have been had they not suffered their tragic losses.
Grief is an enduring journey, and for those who have experienced profound loss, it can feel like an eternal struggle. In these moments, it is essential for our society to extend empathy and support to those grappling with the aftermath of such loss, recognizing that healing is a complex and ongoing process.
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The writer is a lawyer, academic and political analyst. She has authored a book titled ‘A Comparative Analysis of Media & Media Laws in Pakistan.’ She can be contacted at: yasmeenali62@gmail.com and tweets at @yasmeen_9
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