A letter to God from Kashmir

Dear God!

I think You know everything but let me introduce myself first as I think You must have forgotten me. That is because You are not paying attention to us. We are dying and no one is here to help us.

I am Lala-Rukh, an 11 years old Kashmiri girl. Whose grandfather died back in 1968 and left my grandmother and my 1-year-old father behind. Days passed and my father grew up as a Kashmiri but with no freedom and no specific identity. My father got married to my mother, who was a daughter of a Kashmiri who also received martyrdom from the bloody hands of insane Indian troops. But anyhow, they got married and You blessed them with a son and a daughter (which is me). But I don’t know that the memories of the past will haunt us and bloody history will repeat itself. They killed my father when he was out just to bring some ice cream from me. I have never touched ice cream since then and it was about five years ago when I was 6. And you know what God, they killed my elder brother who was 9 years older than me yesterday. He was just 20!!! And we have nothing. No father and no brother. What was their fault?? The only fault is to be a Kashmiri!!! Why God? WHY??

Here is lockdown everywhere and we cannot go outside. If we do so we will be killed. Well…. it is something good. After we will die at least we can meet and reunite with our loved ones and then finally we will be free. Since 2019, there is an official lockdown and they call that it is something known as Article 370. I think I am too young to understand politics but what I really know is humans are not allowed to live in Kashmir.

Since independence, we Kashmiri’s are living in misery and still fighting for freedom even after 75 years of independence. This is our fate??? Trapped??? And forced to die??? My mother always told me that God loves His humans more than 70 mothers love their children. Do you really love us, God? My mother cannot even see a single drop of blood but how can You see people dying every day and covered with blood? Do you really love us, God? People call Kashmir a Heaven on Earth! I always think about this that if this is heaven then why my mother says my father and my brother are in heaven now. The situation will be the same. Then why You God do not let them stay with us in this heaven. It is bloody heaven!!! Are heavens really like this? Blood and sadness and fear in every street? I do not want to go to heaven God!!! I do not want to go!!!

You know God, we do not have internet here and we cannot even contact the people outside of this bloody heaven. Sometimes I think heaven is for the punishment, look we live there and we are not free and we have been tortured every day. Yes!!! Heaven is for the punishment. But what have I done God? I am just 11 years old and hardly go outside. I do not want to live here God.

My mother told me that after death, we will go to heaven and we will live with grandfather, father, and brother. But God, I actually do not want to live in heaven. This heaven on Earth which is known as Kashmir, I do not want to live here either. I just want to be free and go to school with friends and live with no fear. Is it possible God? My mother says ‘God can do anything and there will be everything in heaven’ but my question is ‘God! If there will be everything in heaven, then why there is NO FREEDOM in the Heaven of Earth “Kashmir”?’

I am attaching this letter with the balloon and hope so it will be delivered to you. I will wait for the reply God.

A helpless poor Kashmiri girl,

Lala-Rukh