Time heals all wounds-but does it?

The old adage “time heals all wounds” or “just give it some time” is really, really not true.

To heal from emotional wounds, do realize that time is not the solution. Emotional healing is a much more complex and involved process that requires more than just the passage of time. Wounds that are deeply rooted in our emotions, such as the loss of a loved one can’t be healed just by the passage of time. It simply cannot.

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Emotional wounds unlike physical ones are complex. Someone dies on you. It can be your father, your husband, wife. In our patriarchal society, a husband dying more often than not raises financial issues. Often, almost immediately. Widows often do not get the time to process their grief before reality hits them squarely in the face. How will the kitchen run? How will the children’s education be funded? The emotional grief goes unaddressed.

Your “social status” is lost upon your husband’s death. More especially if you have been a housewife.

The adjustment of new realities is harsh & all too sudden. The children, depending upon their ages go through traumas. The gap is too huge. At different levels their futures are compromised; professional education & prospects of marriage. Latter particularly in case of the daughter(s).

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After a few weeks of your loved one’s death-the traditional proffering of condolences, duty done, people go back to their lives. Things are back to usual. For all but the bereaved family. Time stands still. Literally.

You see life go by. Happy people. Happy faces. You can stop relating to things that make them happy. Your perspective of life changes dramatically. Things you thought are important tend to just disappear.

Unresolved traumas do lead to anxiety, depression, even end up having a negative cascading effect on your health. In a country where emotional traumas are on a low rung of priority, seeking help while spending money can be an expensive option. Usually, it is ignored as a non-issue & the old flippant phase, “time heals all wounds”. It doesn’t.

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The writer is a lawyer, academic and political analyst. She has authored a book titled ‘A Comparative Analysis of Media & Media Laws in Pakistan.’ She can be contacted at: yasmeenali62@gmail.com and tweets at @yasmeen_9

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